This documentary is about teaching your children how
to cope after the death of a loved one. Children need to feel a part of a family’s responses to dying, death and grief. This helps children feel connected to other loved ones and helps them learn how to experience and respond to the emotions and psychological changes associated with death.

There are many opportunities caring adults can provide. Does the child want to be involved at all in preparation of the body and planning of the funeral? Would he like to be included in family discussions of the mode of disposition? Children’s needs should be taken very seriously. Do they feel that they need a site to visit, a place to bring flowers, to talk and to stay with the deceased? All of these are important questions that need to be answered in a constructive way.

Ten Things You Can Do to Help Children Cope with Death

2. Start small: begin by helping the child to recognize loss and develop coping strategies for dealing with losses. Death is about change, it also reveals the limits of our abilities to shape or regulate our world--non-death losses also speak to those core concerns.

3. Allow children to direct their learning experiences: allow children’s questions to lead your disclosure. Answer questions at the same level (of specificity or abstraction) at which children ask them.

4. Be as concrete and specific as possible. Always provide accurate descriptions. Euphemisms are confusing and can result in a great deal of fear or hurt.

5. Use stories, films, poems or songs to model and think critically about different approaches to death and dying.

6. Model for and mentor children in our best means of acknowledging and expressing emotions. a. Suggest strategies for working through troublesome emotions like anger
and guilt.

7. Remember that death ends a life, not a relationship. Talk about the person who died. Create a sense of openness and permission for rich remembrances of the life of a unique person. Help children develop techniques for sustaining a loving connection with the person who died.

8. Offer children regular reassurance that their needs will be seen and met. Follow through!

9. Share your own ideas and experiences in a loving way. It’s o.k. to be candid about the extent of our own knowledge. Children learn about different concepts and responses when we say, "I don’t know for sure. Here are some of the ways people look at this. This is what I believe and why I find it meaningful or helpful."

10. Reflect on, evaluate, and work through your own reactions to loss, dying, death, and grief.

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